The method
How our matchmaking process works, step by step.
01Six stages
From first message to first meeting.
Each stage has a clear purpose and a clear duration. Nothing is shared about you at any stage without your consent.
2 minutes
Request a conversation
A short form: your name, who the search is for, where you live, an age range and how to reach you. Nothing sensitive. A founder replies within one working day.
- No account, no payment, no obligation
- We never ask for caste, religion, income or photographs on the web
20 minutes
The fit call
A founder speaks with you, or with you and your parents, about what you are looking for, how we work and what it costs. If we are not the right service for you, we say so on the call.
- In your time zone, by phone or video
- We decline searches we do not think we can serve well
Within 48 hours
Proposal and onboarding
You receive a written proposal: tier, term, minimum introductions and terms. If you go ahead, we hold a longer onboarding conversation and write your search brief together.
- Payment only after you have read the terms
- Your brief is written in your words, not a form
Before every introduction
Verification
Everyone we introduce, client or member, is verified with their consent: identity, education, current employment and marital status. Documents are seen and checked; we keep a record that the check was done, not the documents.
- Re-checked before each introduction
- Misrepresentation ends membership
Across your term
Introductions
When we see a strong fit, we explain why in writing and ask both people separately. Details are shared only when both agree. We arrange the first meeting somewhere public and comfortable.
- Each introduction reviewed by a founder
- A minimum number per tier, published on Membership
After each meeting
Review and refine
We call both sides for honest feedback and adjust the search. If something is not working, we tell you plainly and change course. You can pause for life events without penalty.
- Families involved only as much as you wish
- Candour about timing and odds, always
02Before every introduction
What we verify, for everyone.
Clients and the members we introduce meet the same standard. Checks happen with each person’s consent, and we keep a record that a check was done, not copies of the documents.
Identity
A government-issued photo ID, sighted on a video call and matched to the person.
Education
Highest degree, checked against the certificate or the institution where possible.
Current work
Role and employer, checked through a payslip, offer letter or professional reference.
Marital status
Never married, divorced or widowed, with the relevant decree or certificate where it applies.
Location
Where the person lives today and their plans, including visa status for NRIs where relevant.
Conduct
A short conversation with a founder. People who misrepresent themselves are not introduced.
03Introductions
How many introductions, and why so few?
Roughly one a month, which is deliberate.
Select includes 12 introductions over 12 months; Signature, 24 over 18 months. That is roughly one a month, which is deliberate. Each introduction takes real work: finding the person, verifying them, explaining to both of you why we think it could work, and talking it through afterwards.
Fewer, better-considered introductions also mean you are never juggling several people at once, and that everyone you meet has been told the truth about you, as you have about them.
If we have not delivered your minimum by the end of your term, we extend it at no cost until we have. See membership
04Families
Your family, involved on your terms.
Parents can begin
Many searches start with a parent. We then speak with the person searching early on.
You set the updates
Decide together who reads introductions and who is simply kept informed.
Family meetings
On Signature and Private, we facilitate meetings between families, in person or on video.
The final word
Whatever the arrangement, the person searching always decides.
Questions
Questions about the method.
What does a private matchmaker do?
A private matchmaker searches on your behalf. We learn what matters to you and your family, find and verify people who fit, and introduce you one at a time with our reasons explained. You meet fewer people, but each introduction has been considered by someone who knows you, rather than surfaced by an algorithm.
How is this different from a matrimony site or an app?
Sites and apps give you a large database and leave the searching, screening and judging to you. We do that work for you, privately. Nobody browses your profile, everyone we introduce is verified first, and you receive a defined number of introductions with written reasoning, plus honest feedback after each meeting.
Who is Dilaire for?
Indian professionals and founders in the metros, NRIs in the US, UK, UAE, Canada, Australia and Singapore, people looking to marry again after divorce or loss, and parents searching on behalf of a son or daughter. What our clients share is seriousness about marriage and little time for the usual routes.
Do you guarantee a marriage?
No, and you should be wary of anyone who does. We commit to a minimum number of carefully vetted introductions in writing, and if we fall short by the end of your term we extend it at no cost. Whether a relationship becomes a marriage is, rightly, up to the two people involved.
How long does a search usually take?
Our terms run 12 to 24 months, and introductions are spread across that time so each one gets proper attention. Some clients meet the right person early; others need most of the term. We will tell you honestly, at the start and along the way, how your search is going.
Can parents apply on behalf of their son or daughter?
Yes, and many do. We will want to speak with your son or daughter early on, because the search only works if they want it. After that, families can be as involved as the person searching wishes, from reading every introduction to simply being kept informed.
An invitation
The right conversation can begin quietly.
Two minutes to request it, twenty minutes to talk. No payment, no obligation.
Request a conversationOr write to us at hello@dilaire.com
What happens next
A personal reply from a founder within one working day
A 20-minute call in your time zone
A written proposal, only if we are the right fit
Nothing you send is shared, and nobody but our founders reads it.